As 2012 drew to a
close, I found myself (reflective by nature) more reflective than normal. My
life, so different than it was at the end of 2011, stands to change even more
in 2013. I couldn’t help but consider the end of 2011: frustration at the lack
of job prospects, chafing at continuing to live at home and not being able to
stand on my own two feet, the rut of routine.
January 1, 2013 finds me both literally and figuratively in
a different place. No longer a resident of the South Jersey I love so much, I
hang my hat now in Bullhead City. A trade for the different, if there ever was
one. January 1, 2013 finds me teaching 7th graders, but currently on
break, sitting in my parents’ kitchen, the room swimming with the smells of
garlic and soy sauce, comfortable as it ever was. January 1, 2013 finds me
secure and confident that I know where my (professional, at least) life will
take me until the beginning of June. Past that, who knows? I know that school
will end in June and that at some point this summer I will be on the Outer
Banks with the family and in Rhode Island with the youth group. I know that at
some point this summer I will become a squatter in Eric’s home. I know that at
some point this summer, I’ll have a plan for the fall. I am hoping for one long
before then, being who I am, but have begrudgingly accepted the fact that there
is just no way to know where I go from here right now.
2012 saw changes for the good…new job, new friends, new self
confidence and awareness, renewed joy in the holidays and the little things
that make New Jersey my home. 2013 will begin with changes…Colleen coming west
for ? days/weeks/months. The aforementioned challenge of deciding where to be
and what to do next (hoping I have a decision to make, and that I can make the
right one). I’ve made changes for the better, and here’s to hoping that I can
set my sights on bigger and better and continue to sand the rough edges of
change already begun. Here’s to hoping that I can be as positive about the
advancement and adjustments on December 31, 2013 as I am right now about the
way 2012 treated me.
For the second year in a row I begin with questions about
where my future will take me, although this year with more confidence that I
can take whatever it may be in stride, or at least have the strength to bear
myself back on course, or change course. At the dawn of 2012, I felt the weight
of inactivity, the strain of a cloudy future. In 2013, my future is no clearer,
but the experience of driving 2500 miles, setting up a life, and surviving the
first five months tells me I have the strength to pull off whatever it may be.
The unending love and support from friends and family, new and old, tells me I
have the support system, too.
